That time the tennis ball taught me something

It’s funny this ‘type a’ personality thing. Everything becomes achievement orientated. Obviously work is but so is home. Most Saturday mornings, I’m writing lists of everything I want to achieve for the weekend. I ask my husband “what do you want to achieve this weekend, honey?” (his internal eye roll flashes, I’m sure).

The washing becomes goal-orientated. How many loads can I get done today? If I can do five today that puts me ahead of the washing for tomorrow. What about the grocery shopping? Well, I’ve got a spreadsheet for that……….just so I can prepare a menu for the week that’s vege heavy, low sugar, low carb and with just the right amount of fat. Another (perfectionist) achievement.

Even Monopoly becomes achievement focussed. You get that living with me might be a slight bore, right?

Anyway, after my Saturday morning list-making, I’m usually off on my walk with my dogs (FYI they are my soul in dog form). But instead of a leisurely stroll, it’s become another form achievement for me. I’ve got my Fitbit telling me my pace and average split time per kilometre. I’m picking a landmark in the distance and focussing on getting there as quickly as possible. I even have silent competitions with other walkers about passing them “ha! I’ll pass you by the time I reach that lamp post, buster!” All in the name of doing better than yesterday.

I’m even squeezing my butt to help drive me further, faster. And now, Houston, we have a problem. Turns out that squeezing your butt can put extra load on your hip (maybe cos I squeezed the bejaysus out of it) which can develop into bursitis in your hip. So, here I am, resting from all that frenzied walking and feeling a bit poorer than average.

I couldn’t possibly just stroll to the park and slowly walk around playing fetch with the dogs, could I? I mean, what would be the point? I probably won’t hit my 10,000 steps and won’t burn very many calories and my workout schedule will be all out-of-balance.

But I try it. A slow walk to the park. I notice things on the way……like the roses and blossom and feel the sunshine on my neck. I throw the tennis ball a few million times and the dogs and I end up playing and running around like idiots. I’m playing. For the first time in months.

Not achieving a damn thing but enjoying being alive.

Interestingly, when we are truly playing and in the moment, it’s super hard to hear our mind chatter. We’re so connected with our body and focussed on what is happening right in front of us that our mind is totally drowned out. We’re in flow. Just living.

It’s a hard one to figure out sometimes because scheduling play into our calendar seems a bit frivolous. Plus, once it’s scheduled, does that mean it’s now linked to being an achievement or something that ticked off our to do list? I’m still finding my feet here but I can say that my walks have become more about the experience than the achievement. Less about my speed and split times and other competitors. And, most importantly to Otis and Charlie, more about the tennis ball.